Posts Tagged ‘ thought ’

Drift…

Looking back over the previous entries in this blog (apologies for the bad/sloppy spelling and punctuation) I’m left with a strange sensation. The ‘me’ in those past entries seems like a wholly different and remote person (and probably is). I was reading an essay by Adrienne Rich (When We Dead Awaken: Writing as Re-Vision) the other day where she says:

What frightened me most was the sense of drift, of being pulled along by a current which called itself my destiny, but in which I seemed to be losing touch with whoever I had been.

Looking back on those old posts now I can see in a sense that I was drifting along on my own current that I too felt powerless to control or affect. What strikes me is the incoherent anger in so much that I had written; that and a pessimism and cynicism for everything (did I really hate Agyness Deyn that much?). It is certainly the case that I was undergoing a number of life-experiences in my twenties that I don’t think many people experience, but I’m not sure if I can wholly attribute everything to this.

I think a more likely explanation can be found in the town I grew up, a nothing-y, nowhere place: a seaside town which seemed inescapable and which seemed to indoctrinate its populace with low expectations of what to expect from life. A friend put it to me not so long ago as: “Where we came from; we didn’t stand a chance”. Anyway, I find it all very reminiscent of Lynsey Hanley’s “wall in the head” and while I perhaps still struggle with the “wall” in my own head, currently I feel on my uppers.

I suppose then, that this is some kind of statement of recalibration and renewed purpose… the personal is political and all that…

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Democratization = concentration of power into the hands of an ever-dwindling elite

Interesting piece on how the “democratizing” effects of the internet are anything but. Of course, this just refers to the producers of electronic dance music but, as Adam Curtis most recent documentary series shows, the same factors apply to all areas of life.

Sound of the Spectacle

I do wonder what will happen to me when I’m old sometimes. Certainly I’m not interested in accumulating material wealth, and the idea of being able to afford to save for a pension (let alone mortgage) seems as obtainable as being able to shoot lazers from my eyes. I don’t even agree with the concept of the private pension (which pension monies generally being invested in some of the more unsavoury activities that go on in the world). Aside from which the limited financial security that such products offer really doesn’t seem like anything that is goign to make my life any easier or happier in the long-term – apart from perhaps (arguably) offering a small amount of protection from the vicisstudes of the market.

Anne Sexton said in a poem once that: “In a dream you are never eighty”. It’s funny hpw youthful rebellion is completly valorised in Western culture – on TV, in films books, and music. It suits the hegemonic system  to have these notions of rebellion as youth-cult promulgated through mass culture. If idealism and rebellion can be boiled down to being ‘just a phase’ then that’s all good as far as the ruling elites go. What is not tolerated is the same atitude expressed by a 40 year old. In such circumstances the voice of the spectacle screams: “grow up (and submit yourself to a living non-existance of wage slavery, unfufilled desire and potentital and ultimately, emptiness).” And of anyone does decide to follow another path aside from the pre-prescribed: marry>procreate>climb the career ladder>buy financial services and products>indulge in an orgy of consumerism>die; life preogression then we are taught to look down on them, to mock them and to fear them. Meanwhile, depictions of the transgressing 02 year old are filled to the brim with positive signifiers. We all love a Rimbaud (so long as Rimbaud grows up to be a slave trader).

The answer to all this lies in stepping beyond what is sanctioned, finding alternative ways of living and different notions of ‘community’ and ‘family’. It means being a pioneer, existing without antecedents, growing old disgracefully, making art for its own sake, telling the siren call of the spectacles to “shut up” and embracing chaos. As E.M Cioran said: “Chaos is rejecting all you have learned, chaos is being yourself.”

A version of this articles appeared in issue 1# of Another Catastrophe Zine.